IAM A PRODUCT OF RAPE ( PART 1)

Gwen; an accomplished business woman with a networth of 5 million dollars sent in this story; read on.
At an early age probably around five years of age; I realised that I was the but of jokes and abuse in my house. My mum, Christina would use such words as "useless"; "good for nothing"; "worthless"; "ugly" to describe me. The names were endless.  She normally called me these names if I didnot do a chore to her satisfaction or fast enough.
I had a sister named Janet and two brothers; James and John. Janet was two years older than I was and John and James who were twins were four years older than I was. I never actually saw or heard my mom using any derogatory words on them and they were so lazy they hardly did any chores.I knew I was being treated differently but in my mind as at that time I felt it was because I was the youngest and was supposed to treat everyone with so much respect. Trust my sister and brothers; they capitalised on it and treated me as servant to them.Though I felt angered by this; I had come to see it as  way of life.
The other thing that puzzled me at that young age was that if I did all the chores I was supposed to be rewarded and commended since others did nothing. That was wishful thinking; the more I worked to impress them and get their approval; the more insults I got. My mom often came home with chocolates, toys for my siblings but I hardly got any. I was never allowed to go shopping with my mom; rather she took every other person and left me with different nannies she hired for the particular days they went on vacations; outings or shopping spree. I only got essentials. Anytime Janet; James and John came back from these shopping trips; they didnot fail to flaunt what they got in front of my face. Their treatment of me subconciously made me to begin to doubt myself and I began to feel that something was absolutely wrong with me.
In School; I found it very difficult to mingle with other students. I didnot want everybody to treat me same way I was treated at home. So I kept to myself and I spent my time reading and reading. It was my escape from my reality. My teachers were extremely nice to me but that got me confused. I was so used to being mistreated that I could not receive the kindness from the teachers and some students. It looked all so weird to me. I basically kept to myself and concentrated on my studies. People felt I was an unfriendly and arrogant child. I was knowledgeable of things my peers didnot know academically.
Often on weekends; my brothers and sister went to stay with their father and I was left at home. Anytime they went to see their father; I always wanted to join them. In my heart; I longed to be daddy's little girl and dreamt of him spoiling me silly like mum and their dad did to my siblings. I remember asking Janet when I was six years old why I never went with them to see Dad. I can still remember her face as she laughed at me and said that Dad could not be my father since I was